parenting, in love & poor

Today I wanted to vent a little bit about parenting, being poor, and being in love. I'll start with being poor first because it's the biggest struggle.

POOR:

Going through life with a future med student can be tough. First it was the MCAT prep course we had to save up for, then it was the primary application, secondary applications, and then we entered into the interview process where we paid for airplane tickets, rental cars, and a hotel for each interview. Say goodbye to extra spending money!  We are finally done and have picked the school we will be attending Fall 2017! It's exciting, but another huge portion of money will be due soon to hold his spot in the class. Don't get me wrong, I love going through this exciting process with my husband, but it really sucks that it's so expensive! James is currently going to school full-time and working at night to cover the bills. I had been avoiding getting a job because I don't want to miss out on days with my little boy. He's changing everyday! However, I started working weekends so James is able to stay home and have boy time with Anderson! I'm hoping my job will give us some financial freedom to do some fun things or buy things we want. I love making budgets, but sticking to them is another thing. When James and I first got married we tried to do the cash only budget. We took out enough cash for all our bills and once the cash was gone we would have to wait 'til the next month. We put it in categories and included $40/month to do whatever we wanted; we could buy clothes, food, whatever. We also had a $40 date night budget. It all sounded like a good idea, but we quickly found it to be a hassle to pay for everything in cash so we gave up on that really fast. James handles the bills and I do the grocery shopping and that works for us. 

I will say we have found some fun things to do on a budget and I feel I have become really good at finding deals and coupons to eat out. #winning Being poor college students is a struggle, but I wouldn't want to be poor with anyone other than James!

After James graduates in April we will be moving to med school and the other day we were talking about the big move and all the things I wanted for our new home. James reminded me to slow down because we likely won't be able to get all the new, fancy home goods that I'd like to have. I instantly got upset because I had been looking forward to an upgrade. I guess I just get tired of living on such a tight budget all the time, but after I calmed down I realized that as frustrating as it can be at times, one of the things I love and hate about James is how he's so good with money and saving. That's not one of my strengths and I think we balance each other out that way. He makes sure we have enough money to cover our expenses, and I make sure we don't skip date night and fun activities. I think both of those are important. We've begun to talk more and more about how if we start saving and are careful with our money now while we're young, then when we do have money we'll be able to manage it properly. I love my little family and I wouldn't want to go through these difficult years with anyone else because it reminds me how much more important the people in my life are than the things I have. I definitely still catch myself wishing I had more from time to time, but I'm always able to remind myself that family is most important and I'm very rich in that department! 

This is the time for small paychecks and big memories and i wouldn't want to do it with anyone else.

PARENTING:

Parenting was sort of sprung on us as we didn't plan on getting pregnant as soon as we did. But looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love being Anderson's mom. He is one of the best babies around and I am not just saying that cause I am his mom. He is so chill! Don't get me wrong, he has his rough days, but for the most part he is the best. I have always loved taking care of kids and have always known I wanted to be a mom someday. I always worked a full-time job and I planned on returning to work soon after having Anderson, I felt like it was my responsibility to take care of our family financially because James has the responsibility of finishing school. But after having Anders I realized there was no way I could leave him. That was the biggest adjustment of all. The waking up every two hours, the diaper changes, spit up, and not being able to leave when you want is tough, but not going back to work was a strange adjustment. I feel like James and I have both grown and become better during this transition in our life. We had a few months of panic when we found out we were having a baby but once we saw him and heard his heartbeat for the first time we knew we could do it. I will say parenting isn't easy and I know it will only get harder as time goes on, but I know I will always love my Anderson and cannot wait to have more little's running around.

LOVE:

I am IN LOVE with my husband! We have been married for two years and I am not going to sit here and say it has been easy, but I will say its 100% worth it. He is the best thing to happen to me other than Anderson. James is the most patient person around. He is very helpful, thoughtful, loving and understanding. I don't know how I got so lucky! I miss James everyday when he is gone at school or out of town doing his med school interviews and I know there are many more days and years where he will be so busy with school we will only have an hour to catch up on our day but every second I get to spend with him makes my heart happy. Another thing I love about James is watching him become a father and seeing his relationship with Anderson grow. They truly have the sweetest bond. I always knew James would be a good dad and husband just by watching him interact with his family. James has a ton of practice and his relationship with his mom is AMAZING! but who wouldn't have a good relationship with Julie she is truly the sweetest person around. I am so thankful for my hard working husband and know that everything we go through, good or bad, he is my person and we can get through anything as long as we are both working hard to love each other everyday!

In conclusion, not having much money can be difficult and straining on your family, but it can also be 
a blessing. Having money and lots of things can be a distraction from what's most important. Living simply has allowed us to strengthen our family bond and find creative ways to have fun. I'm sure we will one day look back on these days as some of the best days we've ever had. I keep telling myself that the sacrifices we make today will all be worth it in the end, but sometimes it's hard to see. Being a parent isn't easy, but it's so worth it! Seeing little eyes looking at you and seeing you as a perfect person is an incredible feeling. Being in love is a wonderful experience! Finding that person that fits with you like a puzzle piece is the best feeling in the world. My life isn't perfect, but I am making a perfect situation out of what I have. 

Besos, 

JM